Wedding Wars
by dancingdeaky
Summary: Nigel Uno is getting married to Rachel McKenzie. Everything is ready: venue, date, time, foods, guests. But there's just one small problem… the best man. And the war between Wallabee Beetles and Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr. begins! Mainly 1x362, 2x5, 3x4, some 60x86, 83x84 & 23x35. Inspired by Bride Wars. HIATUS!
1. The News

**Okay, so I said I was gonna upload this when _Just Fanny's Luck _finished, but I couldn't wait. Some part of me thought that I may never upload all my other fanfics I've been working on, so like... might as well now lmao. Hope you enjoy this, it's mainly humour which I barely do. **

***I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door***

* * *

"Nigel, stop freaking out."

Nigel Uno was pacing around his living room in total fright, his fiance, Rachel McKenzie, sitting on the couch trying to make him feel better. That's the thing, she was _trying_… and it wasn't working.

"I can't Rach, they'll be here any minute." Nigel said nervously.

"Look, they'll understand. But babe, you didn't even tell _me_ who you chose." Rachel said, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"That's the issue here." Nigel muttered, still pacing around the room.

"Huh?" Rachel asked in confusion. Yet her voice was overcome by the sound of the doorbell.

"Holy shit, they're here!" Nigel squeaked.

"Well if you aren't getting the door, I might as well." Rachel shrugged, getting up from the couch.

"Don't!" Nigel blurted.

Rachel turned around and placed her hand on her hips. "Why not?"

"Because I'm not ready." Nigel replied.

"We can't keep them waiting!" Rachel retorted.

"Yes we can, we can pretend we aren't home. Or that we left town, the state, the country, heck, Rachel we're leaving the continent. No, we're going to mars babe! Go grab our space suits!" Nigel exclaimed, his arms up in the air.

"You sound like a lunatic." Rachel said.

"A lunatic that you're marrying." Nigel stated grinning.

"_Unfortunately_." Rachel muttered.

"Hey!" Nigel wailed.

"You know I'm joking Nigel." Rachel said, rolling her eyes from her obvious statement.

The doorbell rang again. Rachel walked up to the door and opened it. Standing there was Wallabee Beetles and Hoagie Gilligan.

"Hey, Rachel." the two said in unison.

"Hey, guys." Rachel greeted.

"No!" Nigel screamed.

He ran to the door at an instant and slammed it on the two.

Rachel only stared at him in annoyance. "Nigel, you're seriously going crazy!" Rachel snapped, rubbing her temples. "They need to know some time!"

"Okay, okay. I can do this. I. Can. Do. This. I _cannot_ do this. What was I thinking? This is going to go fucking terrible! Rachel, I'm not going to have a best man. I can't-"

_SMACK!_

"Pull yourself together soldier!" Rachel yelled. "You've been freaking out since this morning, I'm tired. Just do it, and do it now!"

Nigel held onto his right cheek, which was awfully red. "Ow!" Nigel whined.

"I'm sorry babe, but you wouldn't shut up so my instincts made me do that." Rachel explained.

She lifted up her hand, removing Nigel's from his sore cheek, and placed a light kiss on it.

"Better?" Rachel asked.

"Definitely." Nigel replied dazed.

"Good, now you open that door and tell them." Rachel instructed.

Nigel only sighed, opening the door for the two again.

"Wot was that for?" Wally asked.

"Yeah, I already got the slam on the door once today. I didn't need it again!" Hoagie whined.

Rachel and Nigel stared at Hoagie blankly. "Oh, I accidentally walked in on Wally and Kuki doing… _you know_." Hoagie grinned, a light blush creeping over Wally's face.

Wally nudged him on his arms with his elbow annoyingly as Hoagie let out a tiny yelp of pain.

"Forget that. Why are we here?" Wally questioned.

The attention was now on Nigel, who was sweating nervously. Nigel began creeping away, only to feel a yank at the back of his shirt from Rachel.

"Uh-uh, you are going to tell them." Rachel said, dragging him back to the two. "Now talk."

"You know how Rachel and I are getting married, right?" Nigel started.

"No, really! I never knew, why didn't you tell us?!" Hoagie responded sarcastically.

"Stop with the sarcasm!" Nigel eye rolled. "You see, erm, there's only one thing we haven't done yet. Well, more like _I_ haven't done yet." Nigel continued.

"And that is?" Wally pestered.

"Ineedtochoosemybestman." Nigel whispered lightly.

Wally and Hoagie gave Nigel a dumbfounded expression.

"Nigel, raise your voice and repeat what you said." Rachel commanded.

"I need to choose my best man." Nigel stated, still in a quiet tone.

"Come again?" Hoagie asked.

"I NEED TO CHOOSE MY BEST MAN!" Nigel yelled.

Wally and Hoagie looked at each other, then turned back to Nigel.

"Well it's obviously me, right?" the two said in unison.

They faced back to each other, in fury.

"What? I've known Nigel since kindergarten!" Hoagie explained.

"But I'm his best friend!" Wally snapped.

"So am I, you didn't even have a best man!" Hoagie hissed.

"That's cause me and Kooks eloped in Vegas!" Wally retorted.

"The least you could've did was called one of us." Hoagie muttered.

"Well you did the same goddamn thing in Paris! Eloping without any of us!" Wally snapped.

"But Abby and I didn't plan it. It just happened on it's own! Unlike you guys who were actually secretly planning it behind our backs." Hoagie retaliated.

"We wanted a private wedding of just us!" Wally yelled.

The two looked away from each other and back at Nigel. "Who are you choosing?!" the two asked in unison.

"That's the problem here. I-I may or may n-not, h-haven't chosen a-anyone." Nigel stammered, looking down and fiddling around with his fingers.

"WHAT?!" the three yelled in unison.

"Nigel, our wedding is in two weeks!" Rachel stated.

"Honey, I know. Which is why, I'm letting you guys decide." Nigel explained.

"Okay, I've decided it's going to be me." Hoagie stated, pointing to himself.

Wally scoffed loudly. "No, me."

"No, me."

"No, _me_."

"No, ME."

"NO, ME!"

"ZIP IT!" Nigel yelled. "You guys have two weeks to decide. And both of you have to agree, if not neither of you will be it, and I'll just choose… Patton or Bartie."

"Really?! They were each other's best mans, wouldn't you be left out?" Hoagie asked.

"It doesn't matter right now, just choose. And goodnight." And with that, Nigel slammed the door on the two again, locking it and walking off.

"Nigel, seriously?! This is going to go terrible!" Rachel said, following after him.

"I know, but I'm not deciding it at least." Nigel groaned. "But trust me sweetie, they'll decide."

Little did Nigel know, an extreme war had just begun.

* * *

**That's it so far! I had this idea after watching Bride Wars for the millionth time, it seemed really funny. Anyways, go review and I'll continue.**


	2. Anything You Can Do

***I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door***

* * *

"Kooks, he's lost his mind. Not choosing me?! I'm his best friend, I've been there for him ever since I was a kid! Aren't I right Kooks?" Wally explained.

"Yes, Wally. You've said this about a thousand times." Kuki groaned.

* * *

"He _has_ to choose me. I'm his best friend, ever since we were kids. We've been through so much shit together! Isn't that right Abbs?" Hoagie explained.

"Yes, Hoagie. You won't shut up about it." Abby groaned.

* * *

"It's just crazy how he's making us decide. Hoagie isn't right for it. I've got to convince him otherwise." Wally thought aloud.

"Then go ahead and do that." Kuki sighed, not entirely paying attention.

"That's great! Kooks, thank you!" Wally said, running up to her and giving her a warm hug, then running out the door.

"What just happened?" Kuki asked herself.

* * *

"It's just crazy how he's making us decide. Wally isn't going to be a good best man. I've got to convince him otherwise." Hoagie thought aloud.

"Go do whatever pleases you, baby." Abby muttered, not entirely paying attention.

"That's an amazing idea! Abby, thank you!" Hoagie said, running up to her and placing a quick kiss on her lips before running out of their house.

"What the fuck did I do?!" Abby asked herself.

She whipped out her phone and called the first person on her caller list. "Kuki, did you hear about the best man situation?"

_"Hell yeah I did. Wally wouldn't shut up about it."_

"Neither did Hoagie."

_"Kinda stupid how Nigel didn't choose though, now these two weeks are going to fucking crazy!"_

"Abby knows. She thinks Hoagie is planning some shit on him, but Abby wasn't paying attention."

_"Oh my God, same! It got so annoying over time, I stopped listening."_

"Wait… this is bad Kuki."

_"What do you mean?"_

"They're starting a war!"

_"But we weren't entirely listening to them, we never know."_

"Well, that's a good point."

_"Heck yeah it is. It'll be fine, they're all best friends and they'll figure it out."_

"They better. Bye Kuki."

_"Bye Abby."_

Abby laid back down on the couch, sighing loudly and thinking. _They better figure this out. Abby's got a feeling this is going to turn out reallllllly ugly._

* * *

"That'll be $11.95. Cash or card?"

Hoagie took out his wallet and whipped out his card. "Card."

"Okay then. Have a good day sir." the worker said smiling, handing him the grocery bags. _Indeed this will be a good day._ Hoagie thought, a devious smirk overcoming his face as he walked out the store.

"Hey Hoagie!"

Hoagie turned at an instant, seeing Rachel getting out of her car. "Hey Rach." Hoagie greeted.

"So, about yesterday…" Rachel began.

"Look, it's all good in da hood." Hoagie said nonchalantly.

"Hoagie, nobody says that." Rachel muttered. **(I actually say that and I'm dissing myself XD)**

"Well they're gonna, cause it's about to catch on." Hoagie smirked.

"I doubt it. But you're really okay?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, me and Wally got it." Hoagie lied.

"Okay then. But choose quickly, I don't want such a hassle on my wedding." Rachel chuckled lightly.

"Don't worry, there won't be a hassle." Hoagie said. "Bye."

"Bye!" Rachel waved, walking to the store.

"I promised there won't be a hassle, but there _will_ be a war." Hoagie whispered to himself.

"You say something?!" Rachel yelled from the store.

"Nope, nope, nothing at all." Hoagie hastened, rapidly walking away.

"Hoagie, watch-" _CRASH!_ "-out."

"I'm okay!" Hoagie groaned, laying on a pile of grocery bags and a trolley cart whilst raising his thumb up in the air.

* * *

"How to do reverse psychology. This here is the book!" Wally exclaimed.

"You couldn't search this online?" Patton asked. "And you just _had_ to bring me along to the fucking library!"

"Oh shit, you're right!" Wally groaned.

"And somehow you're a doctor." Patton murmured.

"Look, this book says I've gotta trick Hoagie into thinking I'm cool with him being the best man." Wally said, reading off a random page.

"I think Hoagie's smarter than to believe that." Patton stated.

"He's not logic smart." Wally replied.

"Huh?" Patton questioned.

"Ugh, there's a difference between book smart and logic smart. Duh!" Wally yelled.

"SHHH!" the librarian snapped.

"How cliche is that." Patton mumbled whilst eye rolling.

"I'm just going to take this book and study it at home." Wally stated.

"You, Wallabee Beetles, is going to study? The world is ending people!" Patton joked.

"Oh shut it! I just need to fool Hoagie. Now come on." Wally said, shutting the book and walking out the library.

"HEY! YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THAT!" the librarian yelled.

Patton sighed as Wally faced the librarian, turning into a crimson red.

"Oops, I don't go to libraries often." Wally shrugged.

The librarian grunted. "I can tell."

* * *

"Baby, why'd you run out the house?" Abby asked, the moment Hoagie returned to their house.

"I needed to… do grocery shopping!" Hoagie said, pointing to the bags.

"And that's why you had to hurry? We got food here." Abby stated.

"But I had to make cookies." Hoagie said, taking out the ingredients for it and placing it on the counter.

"_Cookies_?" Abby asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, cookies." Hoagie replied.

"You're acting suspicious baby, Abby can tell." Abby said, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

Hoagie walked up to her. "Trust me baby, I'm not."

"Then tell Abby the truth." Abby snapped.

"But I am!" Hoagie reassured truthfully.

She stared into his eyes, he truly was being honest. He was just leaving something out… but what was it? "Well okay then."

"Wanna help me bake?" Hoagie queried.

"Sure baby." Abby replied.

"But first…" Hoagie lifted her up by the waist.

"Hoagie, put me down!" Abby wailed, struggling against his grip.

"Okay." Hoagie said, placing her on the counter and kissing her on the lips with extreme passion and lust. He slowly pulled away from her, both of them grinning.

"The baking can wait." Abby smirked seductively, before kissing him fully on the lips again.

* * *

"Wally, where the fuck have you been?!" Kuki yelled at the sight of her husband entering the house.

"Busy with Patton." Wally said, walking towards the couch.

"Wally, we _so_ aren't done talking here." Kuki hissed.

"What else is there to talk about?" Wally questioned.

"What were you doing with him?" Kuki asked.

"At the library." Wally stated.

Kuki gasped loudly. "You, at the library, with Patton?!" She began laughing hysterically at the thought. "Okay Wally, tell me where you actually were."

"I'm being honest Kooks." Wally replied.

He wasn't stuttering, he was looking at her straight in the eye, and he had a _book_ in his hand. "Wally, are you high or are you drunk right now?"

"Kuki!" Wally yelled.

"What?! You'd never go to the library, simply to go to a library!" Kuki responded. "Unless that book in your hand has images of naked woman." She went up to Wally and snatched the book off him.

"Kooks, I'm a married man! And the woman I'm married to is excusing me of doing such a thing!" Wally snapped.

"Oh, puh-lease Wally, I found your drawer with all the porn CD's! And that doesn't mean you can't look at porn, I still do." Kuki shrugged, reading through the book.

"You... _do_?" Wally asked.

"Forget that. Why do you have a book for reverse psychology?!" Kuki questioned.

"It seemed… interesting." Wally lied.

"You know what, I'm going to believe that. Only because I'm still amazed by the fact that you went to a fucking library." Kuki said, walking up to the stairs.

Wally went off to the kitchen table, pulling out a chair and sitting down. He took out the book and opened it, starting from the beginning.

"Chapter 1: What is Reverse Psychology? Crud, this is gonna take a while." Wally muttered.

* * *

**And that's Chapter 2! **

**Why does Hoagie want to bake cookies? Will the reverse psychology work? And the biggest question of all, Kuki watches porn?! Find out next time on 'Wedding Wars', well for the first two anyway. And review, review, review! Bye all.**

_**Numbuh 510**_


	3. I Can Do Better

***I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door***

* * *

_DING DONG!_

Wally looked up from his book and out to the staircase.

"I'll get it Kooks!" Wally yelled.

He shut the book immediately, ran to the couch and stashed it under a random pillow, then ran out to the door. He opened it at an instant, yet the sight was the _last_ person he wanted to see.

"Hey Wally." Hoagie greeted.

There was something odd about this. The last time he saw him, Hoagie seriously wanted to kill him because of the decision for best man. But now he was smiling, and had a _basket_ in his hands.

"Hey Hoags." Wally muttered. "Why are ya here?"

"I just came to drop off this basket. There's also a card inside that you should read." Hoagie said, handing him the basket.

Wally's face turned into a snarl as he crossed his arms. _Why is Hoagie giving me a basket? Something seems fishy about this._

Hoagie waved off his right hand, reassuring Wally by saying, "Wally, it's a _gift_ basket with cookies. You're my best friend, and I felt sorry for what happened yesterday."

Wally's snarl died down a little, but he blew air from his nose loudly from annoyance.

Hoagie smirked. "I also made them with _Abby_."

Wally's face lit up and his eyes widened by the sound of all this. Everybody knew that Abby made some of the best cookies out, following after her fathers recipe. "Thanks Hoagie, I'll take it right now of course!"

Wally snatched the basket from his hands and looked down at the pile of cookies, licking his mouth as his eyes greedily scanned each of them.

"Well, I'm off in a hurry, so bye Wally," Hoagie stated. "And say 'hi' to Kuki for me!"

Hoagie began walking off the footpath slowly, whistling as he took each step. Yet Wally didn't bother taking notice; he slammed the door immediately, his face still down staring at the abundance of cookies.

Little did Wally know, Hoagie didn't really leave…

Wally walked off to the dining table, placing the basket on top and seating himself. His stomach grumbled loudly with hunger, his mouth already picturing the taste. It watered with strong desire, as his eyes simply remained glued to each crumb that made that cookie into a whole.

"Okay, do we read the card first or eat the cookies- COOKIES!"

He began stuffing them all into his mouth at once. _I should really savour these. And save some for Kooks... I'll do it later._ At that moment he reached out for the card. He opened the envelope and immediately began reading.

_Dear: Wally, _

_I want you to have the job of best man. And, as a reward you can get this whole basket of cookies that Abby and I made. _

_From: Hoagie. _

_P.S. I'm _coconuts_ about you._

Wally's face became confused as it scrunched up. "What the cruddy hell was the point of the P.S.- HOLY SHIT! KUKIIIIII!"

He jumped out of his chair and began running around the living room in a total panic, around the couch, the dining table, into the kitchen, whilst knocking several things out onto the floor; the sound of glass cracking was heard twice, ringing through the house, but Wally didn't care, he was desperate for Kuki to _immediately_ come down stairs to aid him.

Wally's tongue and lips were caught in an allergic reaction. They were both swollen, sticking out in a mixed peach colour, turning more purple by the second. It was very bumpy, filled with various tiny lumps, and Wally felt as if his throat was closing up and he could barely breathe. The sight of all this was not pretty.

The sound of rapid footsteps was then heard, becoming louder by the second.

"What Wally?! The new Rainbow Monkey episode is out- OH MY GOD!" Kuki gasped.

It took all her strength to not faint at the sight of Wally. "W-what? But... h-how- I... huh?!"

But Kuki's eyes slowly widened in realisation. She placed her hands on her hips as her right foot was impatiently tapping on the wooden floor. "You ate another coconut log again, didn't you."

"MMPHMTH!" Wally tried, but failed, to say.

Kuki sighed. "Wally, didn't that time when you were 12 mean nothing? On that cruddy mission where you got allergic?"

"MMMMMP!" Wally continued.

Kuki eye rolled. "I'll go get your allergy shots. I'm so disappointed in you."

"MMMTYM!" Wally continued trying to speak.

She turned, her hair flipping, as she began walking up the stairs in a bored, slow manner.

"MMPTMTH!" Wally flapped his arms around like a bird with a broken wing, trying to catch Kuki's attention.

"Wally, if you keep trying to make several excuses, I am not getting the allergy shot!" Kuki yelled from upstairs.

Wally only groaned as he sat down again. _That little son of a bitch is totally going to get it._

"Man this is hilarious!" Hoagie roared, laughing hysterically.

Instead of leaving like he promised, he instead went to see the whole fiasco. And boy was he extremely amused by it.

_-Flashback-_

_"Okay, Hoags where's the sugar?" Abby asked. _

_"I don't know. Maybe it's still in the cabinet." Hoagie shrugged. _

_"Didn't Abby tell you to take out everything?!" Abby snapped, sighing. _

_She walked her way into the cabinet. At that moment, Hoagie took out from his pocket coconuts, and dropped it into the bowl. He began whisking it quickly, just as Abby came back. _

_"What are you doing? We already whisked it." Abby said. _

_"__I just thought that… one side looked lumpier." Hoagie lied. _

_"What?!" Abby yelled in confusion, looking over at the bowl. _

_"Oh, looks like it was just my imagination. Teehee." Hoagie lied again. _

_Abby only eyed him suspiciously before continuing with the recipe. _

_-End Flashback-_

"Now, it looks like _I_ have the taste of victory." Hoagie said to himself, walking off to his car with his head held high.

_Wallabee Beetles is down._

But not for long.

* * *

"Stupid, cruddy allergies." Wally muttered.

There he was, in his bed, feeling very grumpy. He crossed his arms as he scoffed loudly, purposely to make Kuki hear him. Because of Kuki's habit of her nursing ways, she forced Wally to stay in bed all day so he could 'feel better'.

Kuki walked into the room with her classic, bright smile on her face, which Wally couldn't resist and his anger was gone.

"Here Wally, I made you my homemade soup!" Kuki exclaimed.

She placed the tray with the soup on his lap as she sat next to him calmly.

Wally's anger had returned as he looked down at the bowl and whinged. "But I wanted two-minute noodle soup!"

Kuki snapped her head around at him and eye rolled. "Oh, no you don't. This is way more healthier for you. Now, go eat up- OH GOD!" She covered her mouth at an instant.

"Kooks, are you okay?!" Wally panicked.

Kuki jolted from the bed and immediately ran to the bathroom. He heard loud sounds of vomiting and after a good minute the toilet flushing. Kuki finally got out of the bathroom, wiping off her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt.

"Are you vomiting because of the soup or...?" Wally asked.

"I don't know why, but I just keep vomiting all of a sudden." Kuki groaned. She slipped into the bed with him, slowly placing her head on his shoulder.

"Well Kooks, you can have some of this soup." Wally offered.

"No, no." Kuki hastened. "I just need some rest, that's all."

Her eyes then slowly shut. Wally placed the tray aside and moved Kuki down to the pillow, then put the blanket over her. Her face looked so innocent as she calmly slept.

"Don't worry Kuki, I'll finish this soup for you." Wally whispered, placing a light peck of her forehead.

* * *

"Hey, Hoags?" Abby started.

"Yeah, Abs." Hoagie replied.

The two were sitting on the couch, searching through Netflix for something to watch.

"What happened to all the cookies? By the time Abby went to eat one, most of them were gone." Abby explained.

"W-what? That's really odd." Hoagie answered hesitantly.

"So they just _casually_ disappeared?" Abby said suspiciously.

"I guess they did." Hoagie lied.

_Man, he is shit at lying. He coulda just said he ate them all, not that it somehow disappeared because of some voodoo shit! That boy better stop lying to me._ Abby thought.

"Mmhm, Abby guesses that was probably it." Abby muttered, eye rolling from all of it.

_BUZZ!_

Hoagie shot up from the bed at an instant from the sound.

"Was that your phone?" Hoagie asked.

Abby took out her phone from her pocket and checked. "Nope."

"Then it must be mine." Hoagie said.

He whipped out his phone from his pocket, his face slowly becoming pale from what he read.

_Meet me at the park tomorrow at 12:30 mate, we needa talk - Wally _

"Oh, crud." Hoagie mumbled under his breath.

* * *

**The words 'we need to talk' aren't ever good, so Hoagie's in for it! What will they be talking about? Why is Kuki getting sick the same time Wally gets an allergic reaction? Coincidence? Or maybe not? Will Abby figure out what Hoagie did? Find out in the next chapter of 'Wedding Wars'!**

**And please review, review, review! They're much appreciated! A huge thanks to those who did review, they're so sweet to read, I appreciate that you guys love my stories! Bye alllllllllll**

_**Numbuh 510**_


	4. I Can Do Anything

***I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door***

* * *

"Okay, Gilligan!"

Hoagie couldn't lie, he was ultimately scared meeting up with Wally at the park. And the way he called out his name, he knew he was in it for something bad. He had to keep his pride up though, he was Nigel's best friend so he _deserved_ that spot for best man.

"Hey, Wally." Hoagie chuckled nervously.

Hoagie looked up at Wally, gulping from his expression. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, all he did was snarl. Air blew roughly out of his nose as he staunched his posture to appear taller than Hoagie.

"Are you trying to make me die?!" Wally screeched.

_That_ caught the attention from almost every kid and a couple of the parents at that park.

"W-what do you mean?" Hoagie asked hesitantly, noticing all the stares.

"You know oi'm allergic to cruddy coconuts, you just _had_ to put them in the cookies. I coulda died!" Wally repeated.

"But see now, you didn't die." Hoagie commented.

Wally looked at him with eyes that could kill, as if daggers were shooting out of them and at Hoagie.

"And don't try to use reverse psychology on me!" Wally continued.

"How did you know?!" Hoagie gasped, raising his arms up in shock. "I didn't even think you knew what those words meant!"

"Because, I borrowed a book from the library with Patton so I could do it on you!" Wally explained.

"You, book, library, with Patton? Dude, are you high or drunk?" Hoagie questioned him, eyeing him up and down.

"Ugh, Kooks said the same goddamn thing!" Wally groaned.

"So which one is it?" Hoagie continued pestering.

"Neither you dumbass! If you wanna play with fire then fine! But you are gonna get burned. Mark my words Gilligan." Wally threatened.

"Oh no, I'm so scared." Hoagie said sarcastically.

Actually, he was a teeny, tiny, bit scared, but he had to play the game that he started.

"Don't give me sarcasm! Because of all this, we are no longer best friends!" Wally yelled.

_That_ tore it for Hoagie.

"Why you little bitch." Hoagie scoffed.

"I know you are but what am I!" Wally mocked, running off.

"Beetles, you are so dead to me!" Hoagie yelled to him.

The war had begun.

* * *

"Hey Kuki, what's wrong?" a voice asked.

There at the doorway of her house was one of her best friends, Fanny Fulbright. Since Abby was busy babysitting her niece, and Rachel was doing important wedding stuff with Nigel, she called Fanny up to help her with her little… _situation_.

"I haven't been feeling good since yesterday." Kuki explained. "I've been vomiting every hour. It's terrible and I feel terrible too!"

"Well, maybe ya have a stomach bug." Fanny suggested.

There was one thing that you should know about Fanny. It was the fact that she was four months pregnant, and her baby bump was very visible.

"Maybe. My sister Mushi had one last week, I might have caught it!" Kuki said in realisation.

"See, you're all good to go. Now, do you have hot chilli pepper sea salt chips and sour cream and onions, vanilla ice cream on the side, drizzled with melted chocolate?" Fanny asked curiously.

"Damn that was oddly specific!" Kuki giggled a little. "No, why?"

"Then we need to go to the store. Ah'm craving them right now and if eye don't get them, it is not a pretty sight." Fanny said, grabbing her arm and walking them out the door.

_Twenty minutes later... _

"Mmm." Fanny moaned, stuffing them all in her mouth.

"You know, I haven't been able to eat anything in since yesterday, yet I'm able to eat this cruddy shit right now!" Kuki said, chomping onto another chip.

"Hey! This ain't cruddy shit!" Fanny yelled.

"Hot chilli pepper sea salt chips with sour cream and onions, vanilla ice cream on the side, drizzled with melted chocolate isn't the best combination Fan." Kuki stated.

"Yeah, ya are right. But ah'm pregnancy hungry! Whenever eye get a craving, ah better eat it no matter how disgusting it is." Fanny explained. "And also, it's odd how you're able to eat this crud instead of normal food." She stuffed more chips into her mouth as Kuki began speaking.

"I know, it's so weird. I tried forcing myself to eat anything in my kitchen, but I just couldn't let myself." Kuki stuffed more into her mouth, before moaning lightly. "Oh God, these are like little drops of heaven!"

"You're right wit' that." Fanny agreed, dipping a handful of chips in the dip.

* * *

Abby was never one to lie to her best friends, _especially_ Kuki, but she did. She knew something was up with her husband, so she secretly followed him. Why she didn't tell Kuki? Abby didn't want to stress that girl out. Plus, she was already feeling sick in the first place. As long as she was with Fanny, she didn't have to worry about that.

She saw the whole argument between Hoagie and Wally. Now she knew what happened to the cookies, and why her husband was so strange about that. Oh, God! She helped the war happen! Curse herself for making such great cookies. Nope, she was going to put the blame on her dad for that one, he _was_ the one who taught her.

She viewed Hoagie storm out of the scenery, all the stares suddenly going away from the argument. _He better be going home._ Abby thought. Though as much as she wanted to see that for herself, she had the biggest urge to follow Wally.

_"If you wanna play with fire then fine! But you are gonna get burned. Mark my words Gilligan."_

It kept ringing through her ears what he said. What bad thing could he possibly do? So she chased after him the fastest she could, dodging everyone and jumping over tree branches on the floor. That was until she stopped immediately, seeing him leap into his car.

"Shit." Abby muttered under her breath.

She ran off to the sidewalk and waved her arm around like crazy, until a taxi finally stopped in front of her.

"Follow that car!" Abby yelled, pointing towards Wally's car.

The driver only stared at her confusingly, before driving at an instant. _Man, Hoagie's going to be so jealous that Abby's said the thing he's always wanted to do._ Abby thought, giggling slightly from it. **(Lowkey always wanted to say 'follow that car' and then chase after it in reality though XP)**

The car ride was unexpectedly taking very long. Wally was driving really far away, and Abby was definitely confused why. She also had recognised the very road that they were driving to, but where exactly?

She looked out into the window once she realised her phone had low battery, the sky was clear until out of the corner of her eye she saw… _planes_.

_Holy shit, Hoagie's plane! How dare he do that to Abby's Hoagie._

The taxi had stopped in a parking place and the taxi driver at the front turned and faced Abby. "Well, that car parked here. That'll be $45.75- HEY!"

Abby had ran out of the cab at an instant, accidentally forgetting that she had to pay. She was mentally praying that she never runs into that cab driver again. She ran the fastest she ever has in her life, then she saw him… in front of Hoagie's plane… _with a graffiti can_!

Abby had many options cluttering in her mind at that moment. One, tell him to stop. But then he would know she followed him! Two, sit back and watch. This will go hilarious, but Hoagie would kill _him_ and _her_! Three, pretend to forget everything about it. But then her guilt would swoop in at any moment!

When she finally chose an option, which was option one, it was too late. She stood there mouth agape when she saw the drawing on Hoagie's plane. What made the situation even worse was the fact that Wally was a good artist! Let's just say it was a very inappropriate and dirty minded drawing that should definitely be censored.

And even though it was bad, she started laughing at the drawing. It was hilarious, and it was very precise for it being drawn by Wally. That was until her senses came to her at that very moment.

This was her husbands war, so she had no right to meddle in it, no matter how bad it was! It was his fault in the first place, and it was also Wally's fault, but that didn't mean she had to get involved in it.

As she walked off, she could only imagine the expression on Hoagie's face when he would see this.

Priceless…

* * *

**That's Chapter 4! Next chapter will be Hoagie's reaction, just imagine! And the war gets even more worse, just y'all see! Also, Kuki's craving the same stuff a _pregnant _Fanny is. Interesting...**

**What will be Hoagie's reaction? Will Kuki feel better soon? What more is there to this war to come? Find out next time on 'Wedding Wars'. **

**I'll update sooner or later, just review it so I can! Bye y'all!**

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	5. Better Than You

***I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door***

* * *

"KUKI SANBAN!"

Hoagie slammed the Beetles residence door and stomped his way upstairs. Yet she wasn't in any of the bedrooms, but _puking_ in the bathroom.

"Oh, my God!" Hoagie gasped. "Kuki are you okay?"

"No, I just have the stomach bug," Kuki replied, wiping her mouth.

"Oh. And why isn't your _husband_ here to help you?" Hoagie queried in a snarl.

"Wally's been out all day, I have no idea why though," Kuki replied, getting up fro her seated position to become face to face with Hoagie.

"You know what Wally did to my plane?!" Hoagie yelled.

"You know what you did to _my_ Wally?! Coconuts? Pathetic," Kuki scoffed. "You know he's allerg-"

"He graffitied my plane!" Hoagie complained, interrupting Kuki.

"Wally did _what_?!" Kuki screamed in shock. "Isn't that illegal?!"

"Fuck yeah it is!" Hoagie responded.

"Wallabee Beetles is a dead man when he comes back," Kuki muttered.

"Well, tell me when he does return!" Hoagie said, cracking his knuckles.

_So then I can LITERALLY murder him!_

"Oh I will, and you two will talk and sort this out," Kuki replied.

Hoagie's face scrunched up in utter confusion. "What? I am not talking and-"

"YOU WILL TALK AND SORT THIS OUT!" Kuki screamed, fire in her eyes.

"Okay, okay," Hoagie squeaked, his arms up in surrender.

"Good. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry! Was I too mean?" Kuki asked. All of a sudden her eyes began becoming all watery and red.

"Oh, no, no, no. Trust me Kuki," Hoagie stated, confused by her emotions.

"Okay," She wiped her tears away before staring at him casually. "What's wrong? Is there something in my teeth?"

"No…" Hoagie replied in fear.

"Oh fuck, there is something in my teeth, isn't there?!" Kuki exclaimed, getting up and staring at the mirror in ultimate fury again. "HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME THERE WAS- oh," Her face softened as she noticed that her teeth were clean, she turned at an instant to face Hoagie. "Oops, I'm so sorry again. Oh, I keep doing and saying mean things to you. I'm… so… sorry," She began sniffling, her eyes becoming watery _again_.

Hoagie was taken very aback. Kuki's never acted this emotional, even on her period! It must've hit her bad this time. Then why was she puking?

"Kuki, you did nothing wrong," Hoagie said to a teary Kuki. "But now I've got to go, anyways. Feel better, okay?"

"Yeah, I've also got a busy- OH NO!" Kuki groaned as she lifted the toilet seat again.

Hoagie rushed to the bottom of the stairs immediately. He wasn't good with emotional woman, especially when it was girly, old Kuki. And as much as it confused him, he desperately needed to find Wally.

That's when he stopped dead in the doorway, just on the verge of leaving.

"I don't need to find Wally," Hoagie said to himself.

His eyes widened as his hand was placed over his gaping mouth.

_I've got an even BETTER idea! Revenge truly is a bitch._

Hoagie smirked as he returned to walking down the footpath, into his car.

* * *

"So, this is the dress!" Rachel wailed excitedly, running out of the dressing rooms.

It was a fantasy of bridal fashion coming to life in a spectacular mermaid design capable of emphasizing feminine lines with crepe, hugging them with a suggestive skirt, fitted at the natural waist, that ends in a beautiful train. It was a dress that plays with the provocation of the thread-embroidered transparencies with flower motifs and sparkling beading that reach the hips, defining a bodice with V-necklines. It was simply spectacular, the three girls aweing at the sight of it. _**(1)**_

"Wow…" Fanny said in total astonishment.

"Yeah, wow…" Abby repeated.

"You look like a princess. Ooo! You're Cinderella!" Kuki exclaimed.

"Technically, Cinderella was a queen at the end. So that makes me a queen!" Rachel flaunted.

The rest of the girls giggled as Rachel walked over to the mirror. She stared at herself and smiled brightly.

"It's still unbelievable for me that I'm getting married," Rachel stated, looking at herself in different angles through the mirror.

"I know! It was like yesterday we were back in the KND fighting adult tyranny," Kuki said, slowly wiping off a tear from her eye. "Oh, how I miss those days!"

She practically jumped onto Abby, crying all over her shirt.

"What's up with her?" Rachel questioned.

"Ah don't know lass. Ah think she got her period," Fanny murmured to Rachel, shrugging.

"No, it's not that," Kuki sniffled, lifting her head up from Abby's shoulder. "I was supposed to get it four days ago, it still hasn't come yet."

"Maybe it's late, that's why you have so much mood swings," Abby reassured.

"MOOD SWINGS?!" Kuki immediately pushed herself off from Abby. "What kind of mood swings are you talking about?! I am so not an emotional wreck! In fact, I am a strong independent woman who could do whatever the fuck she wants! Don't you ever just assume that it's just 'mood swings'!" Kuki huffed in enragement, her arms up in the air.

The three only looked at her in confusion and were a teeny bit frightened.

"Oh, my God. That was so mean, _again_! I'm such a rude person! I was accidentally rude to Hoagie earlier today, and then…" Her face started streaming with tears, "I was crying and apologising again. I'm so mean to everyone t-t-today! How a-are you guys still f-friends with m-me?"

The other three, still weirded out, went over to her immediately and hugged her, trying to comfort her as best as they could. At that moment, a petite brunette wearing a navy blazer and matching skirt walked in. She was the owner of the store.

"Goodness, another bride-to-be got emotional. Here, let me get you tissues, dear," the petite woman said, running off to the counter.

She grabbed the box and ran off as fast as she could(keep in mind she was wearing high heels), then handing Kuki the tears. She only took out about two, blowing her nose into them.

"Wait a second, you're not the bride," She turned to the Rachel. "_You_ are,"

"Yeah. My friend here-" Rachel gestured towards Kuki who was taking out another tissue from the box, "-Kuki, has been really emotional and sick these past days, without even getting her period yet."

"Oh, that makes sense," She then turned back to Kuki, with a smile. "Congrats on the baby."

Kuki immediately stopped crying and looked up in her, mouth wide open. "You think I'm… p-p-p-p-pregnant?" She choked out of her all of a sudden dry throat.

"Well, those are the common symptoms of a pregnancy," the store owner said with a simple smile.

"No, no, no," Kuki hesitated immediately, beginning to pace around the room. "Me and Wally may be married, but it hasn't even been a year of us being married. That would be too fast. We haven't even talked about having kids together. Okay, that's a lie. We did, and it was very long, but that doesn't mean I'm- I mean, _we're_ ready to have kids," She continued ranting on and on about how wrong the store owner was about the entire situation.

"Well, I can tell from your baby bump that you're pregnant," the lady stated with a smile, turning to Fanny.

Fanny only returned the smile before caressing her stomach. "Yeah, four months pregnant," Fanny responded.

"Well, congratulations! You're very lucky!" the woman exclaimed, then turned back to Rachel. "And you're soon to be husband is very lucky, that dress suits you so well!"

"Thanks!" Rachel replied with a grin.

She then turned back to Kuki, who was still continuing on with her rant. "And ma'am, I am dearly sorry for the accusation. It's probably just… a stomach bug," She reassured. "And might I add, what a lovely green blouse."

"Yeah, that's what my friend Fanny said anyways," Kuki muttered. "And thank you!" She grinned.

"Um, sorry to interrupt but, since you're giving away free compliments and all…" Abby gestured towards herself, trying to hint it out.

"Oh! You have…" She looked down at her soaked shirt, before mumbling, "pretty hair, very pretty hair."

"Erm, thanks," Abby murmured, realising the fact that her hair was in a _braid_ and _covered_ by her hat.

"Well," She turned back to Rachel, "would you want to purchase it now?"

"Yes, definitely," Rachel answered almost immediately. "Let me just change out of it of course."

"Okay," the owner of the store replied, walking off to the counter.

"So, we haven't essentially talked about our bridesmaid dresses yet," Fanny stated.

"Oh, my God, yeah!" Kuki exclaimed. "Are we doing the pretty bubblegum pink like I suggested?"

"No, unfortunately we aren't," Rachel responded, yet nervously blurted in concern of Kuki's anger, "But it was a very close tie."

"Okay, that makes sense," Kuki muttered.

"They should be arriving tomorrow, so you could try it on then," Rachel explained.

"Sounds good to Abby. We'll be over by your house then," Abby said.

"Yeah, and trust me they're realllllly pretty!" Rachel stated. "Now I should go get changed."

She began walking off to the direction of the changerooms.

"I can't wait to see those dresses," Kuki wailed excitedly.

"Me too," Fanny agreed.

"Mhmm," Abby nodded.

At that moment, a figure ran through the store, not looking at anyone. The figure had bright blonde hair, wearing a very baggy green sweater(one that did not even fit) and had rather large breasts. Although the face of the figure was covered midway, the mouth and nose with a strange red bandana and most of her hair enclosed in the hood of the sweater.

_CRASH!_

The figure, Kuki, Abby and Fanny were toppled on a pile, lying on the floor recklessly.

"Aye! Watch where you're fucking going!" Kuki yelled with fire in her eyes.

The figure only stared into her eyes, before hesitating and running off into the change rooms.

The three girls stood up, watching after the figure with the same confused expression on their faces.

"That was odd," Abby commented.

"I swear I've seen those eyes before," Kuki stated. "But where?"

"Maybe you're just overreacting, lass," Fanny suggested.

Kuki simply agreed, yet part of her still felt as if she did know that person. Those emerald green eyes were almost too recognisable for her. They looked a lot like- before she could place her finger on it, a screech from a totally recognisable voice erupted through the store.

"MY WEDDING DRESS IS GONE!"

* * *

**(1)**_**This was an actual description of a wedding dress I found online, just with a few modifications added to it. It's a beautiful dress might I add.**_

**Dun, dun, duuuuuun! What a cliffhanger tho, so sorry guys! **

**Who was that mysterious figure that Kuki recognised? Whose dress is gone? How did the dress disappear? Why would the store owner say that Kuki is pregnant? What new plan does Hoagie have against Wally? Speaking of Wally, where the hell is he anyway? Whoa, there's a lot more questions this time. Find out in the next chapter of 'Wedding Wars'! **

**And review so I'll update! Buh byeeee!**

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	6. A Troublesome Blonde

**Hey! Yeah, I know, haven't updated this story in like AGES but, er, gotta be honest, I was SO not bothered to just edit it. Here's the thing: I have a HUGE pet peeve of needing all grammar and punctuation to be correct(do you know how many times I've had to correct people that it's "you're"?!) - which basically makes me my own Grammarly - so I took long because I just wasn't bothered to correct it. I know! SO stupid, but whatever I'm back!  
**

**BTW, this chapter has a lotta plot twists coming in so be prepared! Anyway, onto the chapter!**

***I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door***

* * *

The other three girls gasped in unison and immediately ran towards the change rooms. Rachel leaped out of her stall in a huge panic, her fingers moving rapidly in her blonde locks frantically. Her eyes were widened as they rapidly searched around every detail surrounding her.

"What do you mean your dress is gone?" Kuki asked her.

"I was changing, I put my dress over the wall of the stall, I put on all my clothes, and then I went to get my dress and it d-d-disappeared!" Rachel explained. Her breathing became heavy as she faced them, sweating and blushing more redder by the second. The sparkle in her eye that was there when trying on her dress vanished out of sight.

"Maybe it fell onto the other stall," Abby suggested.

Rachel glared at Abby for a split second before shaking her head to the stall she was previously in. "I already checked!"

Each of the three girls in front of her remained confused on how this could possibly happen.

"Was there someone in the other stall?" Fanny queried.

Rachel's eyes blinked as she steadily spun to face Fanny; The inquiry made total sense. It was as if a light bulb had sparked and then broke into pieces inside her head. Her eyes widening like saucers, answering the soon-to-be bridesmaids question.

"That bitch in the other stall stole my dress!" Rachel yelled.

At an instant, she ran out of the store trying to find that figure who was in the stall next to her. The others stopped for a split second to understand everything that was going on, then followed after an enraged Rachel.

"Over there! The woman in the oversized hoodie!" Rachel screamed, pointing towards a person.

Kuki almost stopped dead in her tracks as she stared at the hoodie. It looked so similar.

"Hey! I have that exact hoodie!" Kuki exclaimed in realisation. And it was true. Kuki had the _exact _same hoodie. It even had that piece of thread that tore at the bottom of it like hers did. Each girl noticed this as they sprinted after the blonde.

"Kuki, that ain't important right now. So, Rachel you jump on her, we'll hold her down," Abby instructed.

Kuki wasn't paying attention though. How was it possible for this person to have _her _hoodie. _They must've stolen from ME too! _

"Isn't that the person who fell on Kuki?" Fanny pointed out.

Kuki's eyes widened even more. Her blood coiled as she crunched her fists together in total fury. This blonde was ruining everything. She hurt her AND stole her and Rachel's clothes.

"That little bitch is going down!" Kuki threatened. "She's a stealer AND sooper clumsy!"

They began running at an even more faster speed. Placing each puzzle piece together, this chick was even worse than they had all thought. The females were prepared to murder her.

Yet somehow, this person was _way_ more faster than them.

It made Kuki want to scream.

But Rachel beat her to it.

"AAAAAGH! HOW THE FUCK IS SHE FASTER THAN ALL FOUR OF US?!"

"Don't lose hope yet!" Kuki encouraged.

Although she felt the same way. Well, she also felt as if each step that she ran, a weight on her shoulders had been pushing her down more and more. She was panting crazier than ever, all this running made her so tired. Which is weird; she would never be so easily tired. The KND made her stronger than ever, so running shouldn't have been an issue for the Asian at all.

But it was.

_Was the lady at the store right?_

The figure had run right into a fast food restaurant, the others only following along.

Rachel's speed somehow increased; she took a huge leap and landed right on her knees, just as the doorway of where the restaurant was. She bopped up immediately in a fighting like stance and made the gun sign with her hands, directly pointing it to the figure with her dress.

"Not so fast, blondie!" Rachel yelled at the figure.

Each of the other girls enhanced their speed once Rachel landed, Kuki finishing off last. Her breathing became heavier than ever as she placed a hand over her stomach unconsciously.

Everybody in the restaurant was now attentive on the girls, and the figure holding the wedding dress. She slowly turned to face them, then began running ahead even more.

"STOP HER!" Rachel screamed.

They chased after her again; Rachel was in the lead with the most determined look on her face ever; Fanny was right after her, her eyes focused onto the blonde tentatively; Abby was next, dodging over everyone who was in their way; Kuki, whose hand was still unconsciously holding her stomach as she wheezed in total pain.

But they all stopped dead in their tracks once they viewed the figure run into the _boys _bathroom.

"Shit, we can't go in here," Kuki whined.

"Helloooo?!" Fanny huffed in total enragement. "This is all totally unfair to society nowadays. Only two genders placed into bathrooms, separating into boys and girls! What about the-"

"Why the fuck would a girl go in the mens bathroom anyway?" Abby wondered aloud, cutting off another usual feminist rant by Fanny.

Fanny gave her the most nastiest of glares as she scoffed loudly.

"Who cares?! That's my wedding dress, we are going in there!" Rachel yelled.

She ran back in a fighting stance, before running up to the door and breaking it off with her back. The other three girls watched it all speechless, their mouths open wide into a gape.

Rachel turned quickly to them, breathing heavily and glaring confidently. "Well, come on!"

"You coulda just opened the door with the handle instead of being dramatic Rach," Abby stated.

"That doesn't matter, now where the fuck is she?!" Rachel asked, looking all over the bathroom.

"Hey!"

An old man with a fancy suit, washing his hands over to the side, argued grumpily when viewing four girls in the _mens bathroom_.

"Y'all aren't supposed to be in here!"

"Oh, shut it!" Rachel snapped, waving her hand around dissuasively. "Have you seen a person holding a wedding dress?"

"And why should I tell you?" the man retorted.

"Because if not, I will _literally_ FUCKING KILL YOU!" Rachel seethed, becoming a dark red of anger.

Every person in the room shivered in total fear as the man stood frozen, his face becoming more and more pale as it slowly turned into a horrified gape.

"Okay!" the man squeaked, his arms up in surrender. "Out the window!"

Rachel only bounced into it, landing in a roll formation, then jumping up and chasing after the figure. The other girls only followed after her, not hesitating.

"You know, Rachel's really scary right now," Kuki peeped in total fright.

"This is why we go on her good side instead," Fanny responded.

"COME BACK HERE YOU BLONDE, FAKE ASS, BROKE BITCH!" Rachel screeched.

She jumped right on top of the figure, the person only gaping at the sight. She pinned the person down, the figure only struggling against her grip. The others finally caught up, grabbing off the wedding dress.

Rachel's face was glowing; her teeth shone bright as her smile beamed around the sketchy alleyway; her hair gracefully flowed in the air as her eyes were like pearls, staring down excitedly, pleased that she had _finally _gotten this apparent 'bitch' who had stolen her wedding dress.

The only thing left now was to know who the hell this person was.

"What kind of sick bitch are- WALLY?!"

Kuki only gasped heavily as she heard her husband's name. She kneeled right next to the figure, pulled of the blonde wig and stared back into the figures eyes. Wally's emerald eyes; Wally's blonde bowl cut hair; And her sweatshirt, her favourite baggy sweatshirt to wear during the winter.

Her husband stole Rachel's dress!

"What the actual fuck?!" Kuki screamed in confusion.

"Wally?!" Abby and Fanny gasped together, staring at each other as they stopped dead in their tracks.

"Wallabee Beetles, you stole my wedding dress?!" Rachel yelled in confusion.

Bewildered eyes goggled over the Aussie as he laid there groaning in pain. Even though perplexed was all of their current emotions, Kuki most definitely was on the verge of having tears stream down her eyes. Not because Wally stole the dress. Not because he was being pinned down. Not because he was wearing _her _green sweatshirt. But because she didn't even realise that was him when he fell on her.

She felt so stupid.

And she knew she shouldn't have, however she did. 2

"Can you get off me first?" Wally whined.

"Don't!" Kuki yelled to Rachel.

"Why'd you steal it?!" Rachel asked, pushing more force onto him.

"Because, I wanted to be best man so bad that if I stole your wedding dress, the only way I would give it back to you is if you said I could be it," Wally explained.

All of them only gaped at him.

"Is it just me, or was that actually surprisingly a good plan for Wally ta think of," Fanny commented.

The other girls only glared at her, Abby slightly chuckling from it.

"Ah get it, too soon to joke about this," Fanny muttered, her arms up in surrender.

"You still haven't decided with Hoagie yet?!" Rachel yelled, turning back down to Wally. "I told Hoagie to figure it out so I wouldn't have such a hassle!"

"Well… we may have started a war," Wally muttered.

"A WAR?!" the three girls(excluding Abby) squeaked in unison.

"Abby knew it. She saw ya graffiting her husbands plane," Abby stated, shaking her head. "You're quite the artist may I add."

"You saw that?! Crikey, it was hilar-"

"Wallabee, this is absolutely stupid! Stealing Rachel's dress?! There won't be any special nights for you until Rachel's wedding is over!" Kuki yelled in frustration, interrupting Wally.

"WHAT?! But Kooks!" Wally wailed in annoyance.

"That's what you get for stealing a wedding dress! But now, what are you using for those fake boobs?" Kuki asked, gesturing towards it.

"Yeah," Abby began, "surprisingly, they're bigger then all of ours combined,"She turned to Fanny with a grin. "And that includes Fanny."

Fanny huffed as she crossed her arms, looking away from her.

"Oranges," Wally answered plainly. "But I think they're squashed now because of Rachel."

"You deserve it!" Rachel stated, getting up from him. "Now I'm going to have a long talk with Nigel, and we're going to figure out the best man on our own."

"But-"

"Wally, you are on thin ice! Nothing you can say will make anything better," Rachel said in fury, interrupting Wally.

"Hoagie'soutsendingemailstoeveryoneinvitedsayingit'scancelled," Wally blurted at an instant.

"Say what now?!" Rachel yelled.

"Hoagie Gilligan is a dead man," Abby threatened, her arms crossed in front of her chest. "Abby's gonna deal with his ass, you can count on that Rach."

"You better. Now I need to do that talk with Nigel," Rachel stated, angrily stomping out of the alley.

She simply stopped dead in her tracks and turned around. "So I guess I'll see you all tomorrow for the bridesmaid dresses fitting."

Wally stood up instantly, brushing off all dirt from him and pulling out one orange from under his hoodie. "Uh, Rach-"

"Wally, you'll be going home with me. And don't be thinking I'm letting you off so easy!" Kuki warned.

"But Kooks, I gotta-"

"You are also restrained from saying anything until we go home," Kuki interrupted once more.

"Oh, crud," Wally mouthed, as he and Kuki walked off to the direction of his car.

Fanny caught up with Rachel rapidly that they were now side by side; Rachel huffed as she cracked her knuckles by here sides, desperate for all this drama on her wedding to be over; Fanny sighed sympathetically, trying to figure out a way to help her best friend.

"Ye know Rach, ya can always choose Patton or-"

"Fanny, I really don't think so," Rachel interrupted. "Patton was Bartie's best man and Bartie was Patton's. It'd be unfair to my Nigel, I'll just figure it out."

Fanny only pouted as she followed along Rachel.

* * *

"HOAGIEEE!" Abby yelled as she entered their household.

"What do you want, my love?" Hoagie asked as he walked up to her, prepared to give her a hug.

"Oh, no, don't you try and sweet talk Abby!" Abby snapped.

"Geez, somebody's cranky today," Hoagie said, scoffing. "Well, if you cared enough to ask, I gave up on finding Wally and discovered an even greater plan!"

"Oh, no you aren't!" Abby said furiously.

"But it's really good!" Hoagie whined. "So, I'm gonna go order online a bunch-"

"Abby knows what you did with them invitations," Abby said, interrupting him.

"What invitations?" Hoagie queried in confusion.

"That was your plan! _You_ were emailing everyone that- wait, you don't know?" Abby asked.

"No. And I wasn't going to do that, I thought of something different. Now, what invitations, Abs?" Hoagie repeated.

"Wally fucking lied!" Abby exclaimed.

"About what?" Hoagie questioned, still in confusion.

"Baby, he's trying to make him the best man that he lied to Rachel's face! We gotta go, right now!" Abby stated, dragging her and Hoagie out of the house.

Hoagie - still confused - only obliged. Because that job for best man, he wanted it desperately. And now this was his chance.

* * *

**Wally stole the dress! I guess that was a whole heck of a surprise! And indeed, Rachel was the biggest badass in this chapter yet! Don't get on her bad side guys! **

**Will Wally's sabotage work? Or will Hoagie and Abby get to it on time? And will Hoagie ever realise what the invitations are? Find out next time on 'Wedding Wars'!**

**Review, and Imma update soon. Bye y'allll**

_**Numbuh 510**_


	7. The New Choice

***I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door***

* * *

"Nigel, we desperately need to talk about your best man situation," Rachel stated.

Nigel sighed deeply as he looked over to his soon-to-be-wife endearingly. "Look, I get your upset that I didn't choose for myself, but my best friends will get through with this on their own. They're old and mature enough to figure it out, it's not like we're still twelve year olds in the Kids Next Door."

Rachel murmured an odd muffled giggle while looking over to Nigel. "_Although_, they are acting like that."

"What do you mean?" Nigel asked, his eyebrows suddenly raised attentively.

"Okay, so Wally and Hoagie-"

_DING DONG!_

Just as Nigel was on the verge of opening the door, Rachel grabbed him by the wrist and gave a most serious look on her face.

"Honey, don't get that just yet!"

Nigel's head tilted to the left a little in confusion, and asked, "And why is that?"

"Because what I have to say is pretty important," Rachel answered.

_DING DONG!_

"The person at the door seems like they have something important to say as well, so I'll be getting that," Nigel stated.

He began walking up to the door as Rachel sighed, plopping herself onto the couch. At the entry of the doorway stood a furious Abby, her hands laced with a perplexed looking Hoagie.

Abby began marching into the house, dragging Hoagie along behind her, as she stated loud and clearly, "We needa talk."

Nigel stood there, appearing a bit perplexed himself as he saw the quite determined looking Abby strut in with no notice at all. "Damn, no 'hello's' or 'how are you's'? What is the matter with you?"

"Well, I can still say 'hi'. Abby on the other hand likes to start arguing first and does greetings in no time at all," Hoagie joked.

Abby turned to him, instantly let go of the hand that was holding his and smacked him on the arm, causing a tiny yelp from Hoagie. "Will you shut it fool!" She snapped, then went on to face Nigel. "Look, Wally is tryna sabotage Abby's Hoagie."

Nigel's bewildered glare grew. "Uh... what do you exactly mean?"

Abby mirrored Nigel's addled face, her eyes flickering over to Rachel. "Did you not talk to him about it yet?"

"I was trying to until you rang the doorbell," Rachel said exasperatedly.

"Many apologies," Her brown eyes then returned back to Nigel, "Wally stole Rachel's wedding dress to try and get best man, issa very long story. But then he accused Hoags here on sending out emails to the people who were invited to your wedding, that it was cancelled. But when Abby was bouta kick Hoagie's ass for it-"

Hoagie's face gave a showed a slight playful hurtfulness as he gave a loud whine. Abby eye rolled and smacked him once again before she continued,

"-he had no idea what Abby was talking about, thus meaning Wally is a fucking liar and tryna sabotage Abby's baby."

Once she finished explaining, letting out a breath of tiredness from all her talking, Nigel and Hoagie both steadily stared at each other silently, as if having read each other's minds.

Rachel mouthed 'what?' over to Abby on what was going on, however she simply shrugged, also weirded out by this. But then exaggerated laughter escaped both of their lips.

"Wally stole a fucking dress?!" Nigel and Hoagie yelled in unison.

"I always knew he was becoming more feminine by the minute!" Hoagie teased.

"Remember when he tried making that 'man handbag' a thing? Like, come on, we all knew it was a fucking purse!" Nigel continued.

Hoagie almost choked of laughter from the reminder. "Yeah! He could fit a butt load of makeup in that thang!"

"And that time he had a 'faded salmon' shirt!" Nigel stated.

"It! Was! Fucking! Pink!" Hoagie and Nigel wheezed. _**(1)**_

They fell on the floor in uncontrollable laughter, practically losing more and more air by the second. Rachel and Abby only looked at them as if they were crazy. I mean, by the sight of it, they kinda were.

They waited for it to all stop; for all their psychotic laughter to be done with so they could _actually _discuss the serious situation they were all in. However, impatience was crawling onto the two girls the more that they laughed.

Rachel was the first for all of this finally getting to her.

"Will you two get up! This isn't about the wedding dress, it's about the best man situation!"

She hoped that her screaming would get to their heads and they'd finally calm down, but _no_. The pair simply ignored her, laughing even more as they kept on adding and adding more and more anecdotes of Wally being feminine. The girls sighed heavily as they glanced over at each other with yearning looks for this stupid moment to be over.

"We're warning ya: if you don't stop that crazy laughing, y'all are gonna get it," Abby threatened, crossing her arms while her stare at them became more deadlier by the second.

The ignorance happened again. Although at this point, their howling seemed unstoppable. And Rachel could've sworn that there was definitely a tiny leak of pee on _her _carpet. She shivered in total disgust, looking up again to Abby with a knowing look on what they had to do now. It only took Abby a moment to realise before the two of them kneeled down to the boys, each of them pulling their lovers ear roughly.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

The girls yanked them upright standing by their ears, then let go at an instant. The boys only rubbed on the pain of their ear whilst staring hopelessly at one another for it to work. Yet it didn't help, but only made the throbbing of it all become erratic. **_(2)_**

"I'm going to get ice," Nigel stated, turning around to the direction of the kitchen.

"Not so fast there! We got more to talk about!" Abby yelled.

Nigel slowly turned around and faced Abby, with a most annoyed expression on his face. "What else is there to it? Wally is feminine and stole a dress. I think that's all there is to it."

"It so is _not_!" Rachel snapped loudly, crossing her arms in front of her chest, "You're gonna need to choose the best man on your own."

His mouth dropped instantly. "But I-"

"Nope," Rachel cut off.

"I don't-"

"Uh-uh," Rachel shook her head.

"Yet I-"

"Don't try and squirm your way outta this one Nigel," Rachel interrupted once again.

Nigel looked around the room, back at his fiancé, then groaned loudly. "Fine."

"So, who ya gonna choose?" Hoagie asked eagerly. "I mean, since Wally _unfortunately_ couldn't be here with us, you should obviously choose me, right? Best friends since kindergarten! Remember our pact? We're all in this together you know!"

"Baby, don't quote High School Musical," Abby murmured in slight disgust.

"Well, _sooo_rry for trying to lighten up the mood!" Hoagie responded.

Nigel only glared at him before nodding. "Okay."

Hoagie whimpered a little, hesitant about his immediate response. "W-what do you mean by 'okay'?"

"You can be my best man," Nigel stated.

"What?!" His eyes widened. "Really?!" A wide grin grew on his face. "That's awesome! I didn't think you would even consider to all that shit I said! I won't let you down!" He rushed over to Nigel and squeezed him into a big hug.

"Oh, that's great! You finally chose," Rachel said with glee.

"Abby guesses we should do a group hug now," Abby suggested.

They all looked over to Nigel, his arms slowly opening up. "Well then, bring it in!"

The other three went over and joined into Nigel's huge huddle together.

_DING DONG!_

Each of them shook their heads and faced over to the door, then hesitantly let go of each other.

"I'll go check who it is," Rachel spoke up. She began walking over to the door and held down on the door handle as she squinted her brown eyes into the peephole to see who was there.

"Rach, who is it?" Nigel asked in a hushed tone.

She turned around back to him and answered, "It's Wally and Kuki," Her eyes then widened as she realised who was there, "Oh, fuck!"

Each of them slowly gaped. Nigel, being the first to recover, instantly went over to Rachel's side.

"Rachel, whatever you do, do not open that-" Her hand accidentally slipped down the door handle, and Wally and Kuki opened the door. Nigel's face became beet red as he glanced over to Rachel, then the married couple, then waved robotically at the two out of awkwardness. "Hey, guys!"

"Hey!" Kuki and Wally replied simultaneously as they entered in.

Nigel only scolded at Rachel, giving her a stern look when all she did was sigh.

"Oops," Rachel muttered to him.

"So, we came here because- whoa," Kuki paused her sentence as she looked around the room, "Is that cake?"

Each person confusingly looked over to Kuki, who began walking over to the kitchen. "That's... cake. Cake! It's chocolate wedding cake with marshmallow fondent and..." She sniffed loudly before her fingers snapped together, "a very thick coat of buttercream!"

"Kuki!" Rachel began, "We're doing wedding cake samples because we changed our mind on the last flavour. If you could just leave-"

Her face was then buried into the cake. Rachel sighed, staring down at her shoes as she shook them in disappointment. "-_it alone_."

"Well, Abby's assuming Kuki's craving wasn't the reason you guys came here," Abby stated, facing over to Wally. "So, why'd you guys come."

Wally looked down as he stuttered under his breath. "Uhhhh... Kuki!"

"Mmhm!" Kuki muttered. Her face lifted up from the cake, icing all around her mouth creating a white coloured goatee. She smiled cheekily, her teeth revealing several chocolate chunks. Her cheeks were chubbier than usual, still chewing onto the chocolate goodness.

"What?" She inquired from all the stares.

Hoagie, Abby, Rachel and Wally, their memory reminding him from the previous state Kuki was the last time they met, silently looked down and had said nothing. Nigel on the other hand, the only one who hadn't experienced an emotional Kuki, continued staring up at her and placed a finger on his chin, tapping on it repeatedly.

"Why are you-" her eyes widened, "I have cake on me?"

Nigel nodded slightly. "Yeah."

However what he didn't realise was everyone around him shaking their heads warningly, knowing the wrath of Kuki were to be revealed.

"And the rest of you guys don't have the common courtesy to _tell _me!" Kuki bursted loudly, her arms up in the air. "I mean, I could've walked out of this house like this! Kids could've been pointing at me on the street and LAUGHED! And I wouldn't have _any _idea! Adults our age could be terrified! I could cause accidents on the road by my ridiculous face being a distraction! I could've-"

Rachel instantly threw a marshmallow right in her mouth to stop the banter. She paused, her arms slowly going down by her sides, then swallowed the marshmallow.

"So anyway, Wally and I urgently needed to speak to you," Kuki said calmly.

Nigel oddly stared at everyone else in the room, seeing if they took notice in how Kuki had rapidly changed her emotions from anger to casual calmness. Yet they each just waved their hands dismissively, as Rachel whispered to him, "I'll tell you later."

"Well, the timing couldn't have been _any _better," Abby said sarcastically.

At that moment, Kuki then gave Wally the side eye and nudged him hardly. "I think you know what to _say_."

"I just gotta say oi'm sorry for the wedding dress thang. Oi shoulda neva done that, was just desperate for best man. But because of my bad actions, I guess I could give the spot to… _Hoagie,_" Wally said sheepishly, squirming around in his spot.

"Well isn't that great, because Nigel already chose me as best man anyways!" Hoagie exclaimed impatiently.

"You... _what_?!" Wally yelled in fury. His hands slammed down on the dining table loudly as he glanced over to Kuki, seeing her reaction.

She was in a _way _worse state than Wally. "You could've at least said it with us there!" Kuki hissed over at Nigel, her face becoming more red and red. "We came all the way here just to be told this!"

"Why are you mad?" Rachel questioned hesitantly. "I mean... this doesn't even consult you."

"I'm concerned for my Wallykins- I mean…" Her face flushed by her accidental use of her husbands nickname. "_Wally_."

Abby and Rachel looked at each other and snickered. "Pfft, Wallykins," they muttered in unison.

Kuki scoffed loudly and stared at the two girls. "How immature. Let's hope it's not your face that I rip off first instead of Nigel's!"

"Well, it was a last minute decision," Nigel instantly said, hoping Kuki's punch-up decision would change soon. "And I kinda felt sorry."

Hoagie's eyes lowered at Nigel's in realisation of what he had just said. "Giving me best man was a pity decision?!"

Nigel smacked his hand over on his face in stupidity on what he had just done. Abby looked over to her husband and held his hand, squeezing it tightly as she felt the same enragement he did.

"Just cause' Wally was competing badly with him doesn't mean you give him it cause ya feel bad!" Abby snapped.

"Well, I-"

"Guess what?" Hoagie interrupted him. "Because you _pity_ me so much, you're definitely going to pity the fact that I'm not going to accept the best man position!"

Nigel's eyes widened as he let out a tiny squeak. "What?!"

"Yeah, that's right. You just lost the Hoagster to be your best man! And he would've been a hella awesome best man too!" Hoagie screamed.

Nigel then turned to Wally with pleading eyes, his hands clasping together in a begging form.

"Oh, no! Oi'm not going to be second best! I ain't accepting it either!" Wally huffed.

"But-"

"I'd rather be the first choice then the backup option! I betcha ya would too," Wally retorted.

The two stomped out of the house in an instant, Abby and Kuki exchanging confused looks before following after them. Nigel only gaped at the sight, Rachel shaking her head in disapproval on what occurred.

"Nigel, that was the second stupidest thing you've ever done," Rachel stated as they left.

"What was the first?" Nigel queried.

Rachel only sighed before answering,

"Making them decide on their own in the first place."

* * *

_**(1) This part was inspired by FRIENDS when Ross left his 'faded salmon' coloured shirt with his ex girlfriend Mona. And Monica kept saying "Nope Ross, I haven't seen your pink shirt." "IT WAS FADED SALMON!" XD And the man handbag was also inspired by FRIENDS, when Joey bought one from Rachel and Chandler and Ross said he could fit makeup in there.**_

_**(2) Thanks for the help on that Victorious ;) "Oh, my God!" "What?" "Your tongue... it's throbbing erratically!" "mY tOnGuE iS tHrObBiNg eRrAtIcAlLy?2!1 MY TONGUE IS THROBBING ERRATICALLY?!" "Be quiet, if not it'll burst!" "bURST?!"**_

**If y'all thought I was gonna just end it on Hoagie getting best man, you were wrong. I'm a more drama the better kind of girl, so here's more drama! **

**Will Nigel get a best man? Are Hoagie and Wally on good terms now? Who will be the new best man? Is the wedding RUINED?! Find out next time on 'Wedding Wars'.**

**And no, I'm not dead. Had exams and stuff and I literally freaked out over my math mark for an entire day. Okay... this may sound TOTALLY stupid but I got 23/40. I'm in like the highest classes for school and I usually get A's in math(not showing off or whatever!) but I was on the verge of crying... I sound like a nerd, I know. But then I got an A in Geo(totally unexpected because I legit missed a five mark question!) so I'm fine now and that inspired me to write this chapter. **

**Go ahead and review it! Byeeee**

_**Numbuh 510**_


	8. Rainy Days With Surprises

***I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door***

* * *

The rain poured down recklessly on the roof of their house. Several splashes were heard each second as thunder crackled in the sky. There wasn't the classic bird whistling tune that morning, it was the sound of distraught and in Nigel's opinion… mother nature's disappointment in him on what occurred the previous day.

He groggily awoke that morning, lazily opening his eyes and not even bothering to rub them to make his vision more clear. He didn't even bother getting up from his bed; he simply stared at the ceiling with his unclear vision, listening in on each raindrop that dropped.

_I seriously fucked up._

Just as he was about to let out an exaggerated and long sigh of frustration, he felt a warm arm drape over him, tightening the grip on him by the second. Nigel looked away from the ceiling and at his soon-to-be wife, smiling as she appeared so innocent and adorable as she slept.

_But this is _our_ wedding, so I'm going to fix it for you._

He placed a light kiss on her forehead, wrapping his arm around her so they could be more close. Several questions popped up into his head at that moment, but only one stood out for him.

_How?_

* * *

Wallabee Beatles had an unpleasant day the previous night, so you could tell how glum he felt when he heard the sound of water dripping harshly on the ground. How it could have gotten worse? The noise of a person puking, and he knew very well that the person was his wife.

He shot up from his bed at an instant, popping his eyes open like a can of biscuits. "Kuki?"

He took the blanket off himself and practically ran to the bathroom. There laid his sick wife, her face buried inside the toilet seat. Even though this scenery appeared usual these past couple days, it still hurt Wally each time he saw her like this.

"Kooks, this has been going on for too long." He knelt down beside her, lifting her hair up with one hand and with the other patting her back. "You need to go see a doctor."

Kuki lifted her face up from the toilet seat and gave an unpleasant glare. "Wally, I already said no!"

Her face immediately returned back inside the toilet.

Surprisingly, Kuki hated seeing the doctor, even though back in their KND days she was the nurse of Sector V. With all her knowledge with nursing, she was always too stubborn to go to one and would rather figure it out herself. Yet oddly enough, this was the one thing that Kuki was very confused on. She had no idea why she was sick!

"Kooks, you know I hate seeing you like this," Wally began. "Please, for me, just go see a-"

His body quivered in fright as another lightning bolt struck loudly in the sky.

Kuki's groans grew even heavier, yet she shakily arose again from the toilet seat. "I promise I'll get better soon. Just don't make me go to the d-"

Her face was in the toilet seat once more and Wally let out an exasperated sigh.

_Hopefully you can fulfil that promise Kooks._

* * *

Hoagie barely - correction - had NO sleep that night. Not only was the rain trickling down from the sky to the ground annoying, but simply the fact that _Nigel_ made him even more annoyed the day before. He made him feel pathetic and cruddy and he absolutely hated how all his hard work had gone to waste.

He squirmed uncomfortably around his bed, turning around and huffing in frustration.

An unconscious Abby hit him with the pillow beside her and groaned.

"Baby, go to sleep," She muttered, tightening her grip on the soft blanket on top of her.

Hoagie did anything but ignore what Abby had told him. Instead, he arose from his bed silently and crept downstairs to the living room. Once reaching the desired destination, he sprawled himself on top of his couch.

_What to do now?_

Hoagie contemplated for a couple of minutes whether to turn on the TV(yet Abby would hear it) or make breakfast(but he wasn't feeling hungry).

He looked ahead at the coffee table, his laptop laid on top of it. He grabbed it from the bottom and opened his laptop up. After typing in his password, which was 'Abby Gilligan', he gasped as he saw the very first tab that was open.

"Fuck!"

A couple moments after his _very_ loud curse, he heard a loud groan and various footsteps. He looked up at the staircase at a yawning Abby slowly leaping down each step, her hair out with various strands messed up, wearing a navy blue bathrobe black furry slippers.

"It's four am on a Saturday, why aren't ya in bed?" Abby inquired, her tone silent yet impatient.

Hoagie was on the verge of replying until Abby sat next to him and angrily spat, "You kept tossing and turning last night, Abby knows you needa go to sleep."

"Well, right now I can't sleep," Hoagie grumbled, crossing his arms as he faced his reflection in the TV screen.

"And _why_ exactly?" Abby questioned grumpily.

Hoagie looked up at her and hesitated. He couldn't just _tell _her, she'd practically kill him if she found out what he had done. "It's just… well, there's this thing… I'm- I just need to go."

Hoagie shut his laptop immediately, stood up in a heartbeat, then ran out of the door, leaving it open with the cold breeze flowing inside the house.

Abby sat there dazed and confused, staring at the position on the couch he was previously sitting in. She trembled a little from the sudden coldness, then went over and grabbed the pink furry blanket over on the chair beside the couch. Abby wrapped it around her body comfortably.

"If this is a dream, it's real fucking weird alright." Abby yawned loudly, stretching her arms out and laying down deeper on the couch. "Guess Abby's gon' have a couch nap."

Hoagie didn't care if the sun had not raised yet, if he was running in his pyjamas and the Rainbow Monkey slippers that Kuki had bought him last year, the fact that his slippers were also getting sticky from all the mud he's stepped on because of the rain, or if he left his extremely tired wife confused as hell. All he cared was to get to the Beetles residence at an instant.

He would get rid of it now, Wally and Kuki were probably both sound asleep. Hoagie was mentally praying with each step he took that it had _not_ arrived yet. It couldn't have.

But it did.

Every single flower that existed was sitting all over the lawn of the Beetles residence in bouquets. And a gigantic card was placed in the centre, with a huge pink heart and red ribbon on it.

A red and white delivery truck was just leaving the driveway of the Beetles residence. Hoagie ran up to it, waving his hands up and down like crazy chasing after it. The old male driver ignored Hoagie, pulling down his cap over his eyes and drove off.

"NO! YOU NEED TO TAKE IT BACK!"

Hoagie tripped over a huge twig on the road, the truck using this to its advantage and driving off faster than before. Hoagie's sigh was breathed out halfway until he heard a loud car honk. His eyes widened as he rolled off rapidly to the pathwalk, his face pressed on the concrete.

He heard the Beetles door swing open and Hoagie practically jumped to the nearest bush, landing in a _very_ uncomfortable position. He bit down his tongue to not let out his howl of pain, pushing open small branches from the bush to see who opened it.

"Kooks, it's just some stupid flowers," Wally muttered annoyingly.

Hoagie was amazed that _Wally_ was awake at such an early time. It was believable for Kuki though, she was always the early bird out of all of them as she whole heartedly enjoyed watching the sunset rise because 'nature is the greatest beauty of all'.

He expected a loud high pitch squeal from Kuki out of the sound of several flower bouquets being sprawled across their front lawn, but that wasn't what happened. Kuki limped half-heartedly to the front door, rubbing her eyes.

When she viewed all the flowers in the front lawn, she gave Wally a bored yet soft hug. "Thanks for the flowers Wallykins, they're really pretty," She whispered softly.

Wally's face scrunched up once he heard this. He slowly pushed Kuki off him, his face turning red of anger. "Oi didn't get ya flowers!"

Kuki tilted her head to the left slightly and let out a giggle. "Was it supposed to be a surprise? Sorry, Wally. I'll act for you if you want."

Wally's face of anger remained the same. He ignored what Kuki said and stomped to the gigantic card at the centre of all of it. Hoagie covered his eyes, not bearing to see what was about to occur.

Wally's eyes widened as he read what was written. His knuckles clenched as he looked up at Kuki, in more rage than before. "YOU HAVE A SECRET ADMIRER?!"

Kuki gasped out of hearing this. "Wally!" She snapped. "There are still people sleepi-"

"I don't give a shit, Kuki!" Wally screamed, interrupting her. "You're fucking cheating on me!"

Kuki's jaw dropped from her husbands stupidity in this conversation. "The card says 'secret admirer', not 'secret _boyfriend_'!" Kuki retorted.

Wally threw the card at her, Kuki dodging instantly to the left, making it fly into their house like a paper airplane. "Oh, so now he isn't your 'secret' boyfriend, because now I fucking know!"

"What?!" Kuki exclaimed in confusion, her eyebrows furrowing.

"HOW COULD YOU?!" Wally screeched.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, WALLYKINS?" Kuki screeched louder than Wally.

"HOW COULD YOU FUCKING CHEAT ON ME!"

"I. DID. NOT. CHEAT!" Kuki breathed out, putting emphasis on each word.

"THEN WHY WOULD YOU GET-"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

Wally scolded at her as he stamped on all the flowers in his way, coming face to face with her. "YOU DO TOO KNOW!"

Kuki huffed as breath heavily was pushed out of her button nose. "I'M NOT DATING ANYONE, WALLY!"

"OH, SO YOU'RE NOT DATING ME?!" Wally screamed, his nose now pushed up on Kuki's.

"WE'RE MARRIED, YOU DUMBASS!"

"I DON'T THINK SO!"

"AND WHY NOT?"

"BECAUSE MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO BE MARRIED ANYMORE!" Wally blurted.

Kuki's face of anger turned white, her expression full of hurt. "W-what?"

Wally's rage was gone once he realised what he had said. "Kuki, I-I-"

"Wally, you really think I'd dare cheat on _you_, the person I've loved since I was fucking seven?" Kuki asked, her voice quivering.

"Kuki…" Wally began.

"You know how much shit I've been through this past week?!" Kuki snapped, her voice growing cold. "I've been vomiting everyday, not even able to eat anything! The only thing I've been able to eat is this shitty chip combination that Fanny gave me! I don't even know what sickness I have! I keep having mood swings and my period hasn't even arrived yet! I'm so fat, the lady in the wedding dress store accused me of being pregnant! And-"

Wally's jaw dropped instantly by _the_ _word_. "Y-y-y-you're pregnant?"

Kuki shut her mouth instantly, her pale expression remaining. It was dead silent for a couple of minutes, the only sound being the rain that continued pouring down, yet lighter than before.

"I'm _actually_ pregnant," Kuki whispered, her eyes widening.

_THUMP!_

Kuki gasped, looking down at her fainted husband.

* * *

**Cliffhangerrrr lmao! **

**NEWS: You guys might take it as bad or good, I don't really know. Basically, I wanna finish this and 'Just Fanny's Luck!' as soon as possible, and they are soon to be in an end. Why exactly I'm doing this? I wanna start writing on Wattpad! I've got this great idea for a story and I began typing it up, and yes, I may have gotten obsessed. No, I have not yet published it, however that will put a pause on my life on Fanfiction. _Obviously_ I'll still make stories here(I have numerous fantastic ideas of stories I wanna type) but I just won't be as active. Anyway, it's still a while till that so, enjoy my activity now I guess XD**

**How will Wally react when he wakes up? Will Hoagie stay in that bush forever? Has Nigel answered his question? Is Kuki _really _pregnant? Find out next time on 'Wedding Wars'!**

**Review = Update**

**_Numbuh 510_**


	9. The Wrath of Kuki

***I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door***

* * *

Hoagie almost burst into laughter from Wally's reaction that Kuki was _pregnant_. The guy seriously fainted, rain water splashing all over his body as Kuki looked at him in total fright on what to do next.

Oh, shit.

Kuki was PREGNANT!

And it was announced after an argument that HE caused!

He gasped. Steadily, he took out his right leg from the bush, then stepped out. Kuki, still hovering over Wally's body, was in full panic mode. Her face remained pale, raven hair that cascaded to her hips soaking wet, but she didn't care at all.

"Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I'm pregnant," She muttered frustratedly. "This can't possibly be true. It can't. It can't! But it makes sense. And Wally fainted! He fainted! The guy finds out he's gonna be a father and he _faints_! Yes, _Waaally_!" She stared down at his fainted body and scolded. "I'm talkin' to YOU! You find out that you're going to be a dad and you fucking faint! Oh, shit; I'm going to be a mom! I'm going to be a fucking mom and my fucking child's future fucking dad fucking FAINTED! FUCK!"

The Asian continued mumbling out swears, perplexed on what to do next.

"Kuki!" Hoagie called out.

Of course he was nervous, he did after all cause all of this, but he had to help out the panicky Kuki. He mentally begged that she wouldn't go full attack mode on him after he explained as to why he was there. She was pregnant, and all he had to do was make her get a pregnancy test and then wake Wally up.

The girl screamed in utter fright. "AAAAGH!" Jumping back as she stared at her geeky best friend, eyebrows furrowing and hoping that this situation was all a psycho dream. But by the looks of it, it wasn't. "MOTHERFU-"

"Shhh!" He hushed, placing one finger over his mouth.

The raven-haired girl nodded slowly in understanding. "Y-yeah. Shh," She repeated.

The rain continued pouring, though heavier than ever, over each of them. Yet this was the silence they needed, for Kuki to slowly get used to the fact that _she _was pregnant. This was imperative, well, Hoagie thought it was.

"Wait..."

Kuki's baffled eyes then returned as she faced up to Hoagie.

"Why the actual _fuck _are YOU here? HIDING IN A BUSH!" Rage viscously grew in her eyes, causing a shiver from the boy opposed to her. "_STALKING_ MUCH?!

Hoagie grew agitated once again. _So I was wrong. _

"You _BITCH_!"

"Kuki, it's not what you think-" He ran to her instantly to assure her that he wasn't at all stalking.

_SPLASH!_

His body slid through the front garden and he landed right in front of Kuki. Her face dropped and she became worried again.

"Hoagie!"

She went down on her knees besides him. He gave her a weary sympathetic smile and for a split second he thought she mirrored one back to him.

Yeah, _just for a split second_.

"What-" A slap on his face. "-do-" A nudge on his arm. "-you-" A nudge on his other arm. "-think-" A flick on his ear. "-you're-" A pinch on his leg. "-doing?!" A jab on his stomach.

He winced as she finished, biting down on his lower lip for his groan of pain not to escape, slowly turning into an ugly shade of purple. The Asian growled.

"I'm pregnant, so the last thing I want to deal with is you _stalking _me!"

"I was not stalking!" Hoagie retorted.

She scoffed, his retaliation simply not being adequate for her. "Enough out of you!"

Hoagie sighed, before murmuring, "I'm trying to help you."

"Help by stalking me? Incredibly helpful!" Kuki said sarcastically.

"Look," He began again, "Wally is _unconscious_, okay? We need to call everyone and get help to wake him up."

"You can't tell me what to do!" She snapped, flicking his other ear.

"Oh, my God! Stop doing that, woman!" Hoagie whined, shivering from the pain.

"I am _not _going to call everyone," Kuki stated, standing up instantly from her crouched down position. "Instead, I am going to call only Abby, Nigel, and Rachel."

Kuki sauntered into her house, screaming, "Drag my husband inside... NOW!"

He rolled his blue eyes dramatically before doing as she commanded.

Kuki's frantic composure returned as she scanned around the living room for her phone.

"Alright. Where is my damn phone now? I had it when vomiting so I could play the Rainbow Monkey theme song to calm me down." She began rushing up the stairs before stopping midway and turning around. "But then I went down with it when scrolling through Netflix on my phone..."

She stepped down the carpeted steps and went over to the couch. Looking down to her black leather barcaloungers that Wally practically begged to keep in their home**(Friends reference if you understand) **then started dismantling the pillows.

"Then I gave up on watching Netflix because Wally said that I should watch new shows rather than 'The Office' on repeat - which is stupid because Netflix is taking it down soon so I should binge it as much as I can - so I switched apps to FanFiction and read Ron and Hermione sappy shit."

She froze, slamming the last pillow down on the floor before entering the kitchen, muttering to herself continuously.

Whilst she did so, Hoagie laid Wally on the floor, grabbing one of the pillows that had been tossed to the ground and placing it under his head. He put a wet cloth over his forehead and sighed over him.

"So many jokes that I could say at this moment, but nobody can protect me afterwards when Kuki tries to kill me."

Looking up, all he could see was a stressed Kuki who was pulling on her strands of hair, screaming.

"We got the ring on the door bell, and now I don't remember where I left it after that! I was going to make Christmas cookies because of the craving, so it should be in the kitchen, but-"

Hoagie huffed before taking out his own phone and calling Abby. Three rings and she finally answered with a grumbled.

_"Boy, I'm SLEEPING! Where the heck are you anyway? You just ran the heck off sayin' ya had some important shit to do. What kind of important shit does someone have to do in six fucking am?! Seriously! Ya didn't even get any sleep last night. With the tossin' and turnin' and buggin' me-"_

"Kuki is pregnant, Abs," He whispered into the phone.

_"Say what now?"_

"Trust me. I'm at her house right now. Wally fainted and she's panicking like crazy."

_"Wally fainted?"_

"Long story."

_"How did you even - you know what? Abby's on her way now."_

"Get Nigel and Rachel too. Both you and I aren't enough for the wrath of Kuki."

_"She ain't that bad."_

A scream was heard from the kitchen and Hoagie instantly jumped up in a stance.

_"Abby stands corrected."_

"Hurry up!"

He then ended the phone and ran into the kitchen.

* * *

**So, y'all probably thought that I forgot this story existed. I actually did...**

**Welp, at least I updated so I hope you guys enjoy! My activity is pretty low, so I'm going to try and fix that. Also, about that Wattpad thing I said in the last chapter, I ain't publishing a story until I finish or am on the verge of finishing with both this story and 'Just Fanny's Luck!'. I'd hate to leave these stories on pause just to make a whole book series(yeah, it's going to have more then one book to it!) so that's pretty much it.**

**Also, this chapter is total shit! Can't believe y'all read this. My bad!**

**Why did Kuki scream? Will Abby and the others make it on time? Is Kuki _actually _pregnant? Find out next time on 'Wedding Wars'!**

**Review = Update!**

_**Numbuh 510**_


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